How Much Sex Is Important In A Relationship?

While we are aware that sex is important in a relationship because of the many benefits it poses, couples often go in without knowing if there is a limit of what to expect and how much is need to create a balanced relationship.

When Sex researcher and therapist Brian Willoughby is asked this question, “I immediately say you’re thinking about sex wrong—there’s no magic number for any given couple.”

And when you think of researches carried out on to answer this question, you find that what is indeed available, is that the sex frequency varies at the different stages.

Helen E. Fisher’s 1998 Human Nature research, for instance, addresses the three stages: Lust, attraction, and attachment.

In the Lust stage, testosterone and oxytocin flood our brains making us “seek a sexual union” with a new partner. It’s why we desire lots of it.

In the next stage, we feel a stronger connection and go all out. Here, cuddle hormones (vasopressin and oxytocin) play a significant role that makes us feel secure and trusting. Sex is no longer treated as a matter of urgency but is frequent. This stage is what most romantic couples stay locked in.

What this means is that only five per cent of couples still have sex up to four times a week, Sociologist Edward Laumann notes.

Matchmaker and Dating Coach Francesca Hogi told HelloGiggles that there might be a problem if you keep asking that question: “The frequency of sex can ebb and flow depending on what else is happening in your lives or your bodies. So it’s really hard to say what is healthy. It’s a very personal decision. But if you’re questioning if your sex life is healthy, that’s an indication that something isn’t working.”